Wednesday, December 31, 2014

In search of a white man



It’s a typical Sunday evening, the streets are busily empty, I hurriedly check my watch and its 8:53
Oh no, why didn't I leave the parade earlier or better yet, need I have gone?
At a distance I see the short cut street again I look at my watch and damn its 8:54, I can’t risk using that "chochoro" and get robbed. At the thought I shiver not because I have lots of valuables on me; nay on the contrary, I only have Kes 200 and my phone is almost three years now; rugged and grown. But I can’t afford to lose it to some underage thieves in this famous Tom Mboya Street. I am at Odeon now its 8:57 and yes I doubt my own watch. Looking up for a city clock in the street I know so well and I immediately shamefully remember I can’t see all the way to the famous Koja round-about moreover it’s too dark. So I slip my hand through my Susen red leather mix hand bag and get to my phone. Damn it’s really 8:58. A call comes and coincidentally it’s mama. What! Does this woman have the eyes of a hawk or something? How can she know to just call when I am not innocently seated at home? I curse and on the third ring I decide to not pick this call. So I ignore, guilty fingers poke my mind as I slip my yellow Nokia Asha 210 back into my hand bag. Pulling my pink not so warm sweater together I hurriedly move through the semi empty street. I hear the click of one of my red six inch peep toe heel and I hate to know it has just started to wear out. If only I had a car or better yet a man to drop me to wherever my cute blonde mind wanted to go; shopping, horse riding, to a salon for a Pedi or maybe to the spa. But I am not blonde, resentfully regrettable, I wasn't born that girl. I was born a First class student applying above average skills even in a shower. And yeah to get you the right picture I am dark eyed frailly thin, a prominent forehead and tall. A naughty complement from an not so-schooled matatu tout reminds me that my skirt might to be too short to walk in a Sunday evening
"Mrembo siunanimaliza"
I curse....
Oh my word it’s the bus in queue, with only about five passengers inside. Could this day get any longer? I curse again. Taking a seat right in the midst of the shouting empty bus I listen to the random conductor dutifully sing a terrible beautiful lie "wawili twende" I want to pull of his ear like a small child and tell him off but I decide to drift back into the day’s events....
I had woken up at 7:37 to find my door bell ringing like it was on a mission. Sheepishly sleepy I headed to the door ready to give the character on the other side of the door a look he will never forget. The bell stops ringing just as I am about to touch door. I pause. "Huyo hayuko basi" the day watchman try to salvage my sleep but my best friend knows me to well "yuko, I know her she just sleeps like a log" I roll my eyes as I open the door and she confirms to the day guard with a shout "Si unaona"

"Really Sally, it’s almost eight!"
"What in the sky spirits was at eight?" I ask profoundly
"WTF, my word Sally you forgot! We were to go for that motor show you know the one with the white guys!" she says the last part with a whisper and yeah I do remember now and Shish as I call her goes on and on about how much I need this ASAP.
Why on earth do I need a white guy? My granny won't understand a single word he says and I am hopelessly hoping she will still be alive to see me get married.

"Oh, that was today?"

I drag myself back the bedroom and fall on the bed in search for sleep rescue but Shish won't have it.

"Come on Sally, I booked the Salon at 9 and we still have to do our nails"

A simple calculation flashes my mind and that will be slightly above over 3k and I have 4k tops to run me through the rest of the month. I recall my younger brother's cries last evening about a lost bet on an Arsenal game last night and I had to give him 2775 to sort his mess. His mate was threatening to cut off his left ear. Really, who bets a random figure like 2775 or is he conning his employed sister? Whatever the case the thought of having a one eared brother is quite scaring.
" I am broke S" I try although I know it shall fall on deaf ears
" you know my motto: Spend to get and... Hakuna Matata I join in unison "
Truthfully, I couldn’t remember when S had started using this famous slogan as a motto, but I recall how I have had to repeat it so many times and the embarrassing or frustrating terrible outcomes later; like, when we had to hitch a ride on the back of a half full chicken pickup on our way back to Nairobi from Kericho as she had broken up with the guy who had taken us to some resort there, or when I accompanied her to jail when a random police man caught her peeing in the a not so busy city street- I blame myself though, I hadn’t been such a good “cover me” on that one
 

I give in and we are off to the salon. S insists today is our lucky day but I know it's always about her and I am just a backup in her solo. We are so different; She is a free spirit, beautiful and forever young with a body tone to die for but she is my best friend tip to tail and I love being her back up prop anytime. I wouldn't imagine a life without her.

At 4:43 we arrive at the motor show and clearly we have overdressed the occasion. All guys surely turn heads to Shish in her tight shorts and her leather jacket but I feel wrong in my pencil skirt. I knew I should have listened to my gut and wore some slacks instead but have I ever contradicted S. “You have a nice ass, show it off in this pencil skirt!"
She speeds off to mingle with her other girlfriends and I feel lost. It's 5pm and I am already tired of ogling at cars and motor cycles I could never afford even in my dreams with my five figure salary. Shish has already captured herself a handsome white man; I could rate him 40-something, in this case late 40s. Why does that statement sound judgmental? She is my best friend so I have no room for judgments. I feel thirsty and I move to the bar to get a bottle of water. It costs a hundred bob? A damn barely 50mls? I curse. But I need it more. I am down to Kes 250. I sip my water drink slowly and curse deep inside again and again.
I can’t be here anymore its 6pm and I leave in the other end of the city; Kiambu county; I signal S, and she nods me ahead to leave at my own pleasure. I feel used. But again I wouldn't afford to interrupt her nice chat...

"Twende imejaa" a shout comes from the Bus tout and the engine turns on as I come back from my flashback, simultaneously my phone vibrates, crossing my fingers I pray it’s not Mama again. And it’s not; now I believe God answers prayers of the sinners! Nonetheless it’s an unregistered number on my phone. On the third ring I realize my true caller application is not on and I will have to pick to know the caller.

"Hallo?"
"Hallo, is that Sally?"
"Yes, who's calling?"
"My name is Alejandro; I requested for your number from your friend at the motor show, I thought you looked very cute in..." his voice disappears behind my crazed mind. I will kill Shish, how could she? He drifts on and on about me but my mind is too far
" Alejandro, you said, let me get back to you after I get off the bus, OK?"
I end the call without waiting for any confirmation and race to search for S's number on my call log to give her a piece of mind about this so called Alejandro but cutting me short a text comes in. It's her. And it reads….
"In our search for a white guy; don’t be angry but he was too cute to say no. HM (Hakuna Matata)"
I smile foolishly nonetheless I still want to kill her then again I smile more foolishly and I know I will surely call him back.

…The end…

Please note; this is not refined yet and it is a work of fiction; these are not real characters whatsoever