Sunday, July 5, 2015

WHO SAVED ME? WHY SAVE ME?

Shoot me dead right through the head,
Strap me onto a gurney,
And give me the lethal injection
Because it's that time of the night,
I can't sleep,
Like a fluid I stir; left right,
You got to be kidding me;
It's you again
My nightmare; my accusers!

I sit up in the dark
Sad, more so; mad
You never left my mind,
Even after I erased you from my heart
My mind hates my heart
I run my hand in the dark,
And there on my right drawer I feel you
My savior; my little tough warriors
i smile vaguely in the night,
With shaky hands I embrace you my tiny frenemies
With no second thoughts I lead you to my lips
Tonight on my tongue you feel tasteless,
And I am faithless,
That you will give me the satisfaction,
To last me a lifetime,
Faithless that you love me,
Faithless that actually anybody can love me.

And yet you provide the perfect mirage,
My saliva loves to push you home,
Home where I don't remember I am alone,
Home where I don't remember I had it all,
Love,family, friends and yes a pastor,
Home where I don't remember I even had a home

What happened to me?
Before you my accuser takes me on the stand
To strip me off my only left worthiness; nothing
You my frenemies come through for me,
And I drift back onto my pillow,
Heavy eyes,
Heavy heart,
But not my mind,
You...you my accusers are shameless,
You creep back into my mind and you won't stop
Stop until I go mad
Stop until I am no more
But I am no more
My heart hates my mind
I smile and I am gone
Or so I thought,
From afar I hear screams,
She can't breath,
Somebody please somebody help her,
You scream for help as if you really want to help me,
I fight you to stop
I want to win tonight but you won't let me
my third shadow you just won't stop
and how I hate you; my mind heart hates my mind.
.....................
I awake in a hospital screaming
Who saved me?!
Who the hell saved me?!
You shouldn't have saved me!
I want to die. I just wanted to die
I sob; I uncontrollably sob
Why did you save me? I really wanted to die.

It's that time of the night
I can't sleep
And the doctor's have taken my frenemies
And left me with my accuser
So that now she can kill me, slowly

The end

PS: This piece is written in light of suicidal cases that have occurred through sleeping pills... Kindly abort mission and know that life is all worth living even though we may not have it all or better yet nothing.