Friday, October 23, 2015

SEXUAL ADDICTION; BROKEN FALLEN SIGNS/ as edited to suit 58th Poetry Slam Africa

Look right,
Look left,
Look right again,
These are laws I don’t bargain to gain,
So go ahead and run me over

I stand at a dangerous round about,
Broken fallen signs scream and shout,
Or is it to mumble,
Hearken damsel,
You would think I would heed such words of doubt,
Or my pastor’s words worth pounds,
He calls it lust,
The morning after it corrodes worse than rust,
Whatever dark shadow on my way you have cast,
It heavily clouds more of my future past,
So just go ahead and run me over
Ram me,
Slam me,
Just go ahead and....

Flash forward,
Come morning I will be three doors down,
a torn broken heart from a yesterday’s body pawn,
a soul as empty as a ghost town,
Fear shall actually walk into my own wake,
Hurriedly I shall put on my little black dress,
Tiptoeing I shall leave the room holding my six inches heels,
The walk of shame,
Should actually be called a run from shame.
Damn it! Did we even use protection?
My mind hates my heart, my heart hates my mind 
whichever I don’t know anymore.
But as I press the elevator button I behold the clarity of my disease,
Again I have fallen,
It was just the day before yesterday that I sat in a circle with my support group,
And I could swear I heard Katie say fell of the wagon again and we all gave her a tap on the shoulder,
Mark the newcomer said he recognized he was an addict and he needed help, and we all clapped,
But I sat through it all wondering if I was really one of them.
Maybe they are right I should have looked right and reached for my phone,
Left and dialed my sponsor’s number,
And right again and she would be here with her usual lines ‘I am glad you called, let’s get you out of here’
But these are laws my dark third shadow that does not bargain to gain,
She the demon that awakens in the night,
And kills the angel that walks in the day,
So ye on my right, go ahead and diagnose me, treat me or rehabilitate me,
While ye on my left I beg you to put me on the stand and judge me, crucify me or stone me

For if not, I am afraid that tonight she shall resurrect and take control,
And I will surrender like a pet,
A slave with a master’s debt,
Only one picture in my mind,
How from across the bar your stare paints me naked,
Your handsome face chains me for the forsaken,
And your dark complexion makes me lose all my bets

Look right,
Look left,
Look right again,
These are laws I don’t bargain to gain


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the end


  1. Hi Jane...
    Great poem. does the perspective offered relate more to a lady more than a man?

  2. Hi Unknown, thank you very much for the read and appreciation. To answer your question, It relates more to the lady who is sick; but her inner-self will not admit so she may seem to blame it on the man