Sunday, June 11, 2017

The struggle

I struggle
I struggle to convince my mind-; to not think 
To not think of you,
I struggle
I struggle to get my body-; to not feel,
To not feel your touch on my body,
I struggle
I struggle to get my heart-; to not beat,
To not beat so loudly when I see you 
I struggle
I struggle to get my eyes-; to not see,
To not see you see me,
So I look away when we cross paths,
I hold my breath so I don't inhale your scent,
Because then I will pause, and remember 
Your body on mine, your body in mine,
And with shame of such silent sin my stomach will twist and turn,
When my mind wildly runs through how last night I twisted and turned,
When as you kissed me you went ahead and put those two blessed fingers inside me,
Then looking direct into my eyes, you moved them like a rock star and I were your guitar in song that only I knew it's rhythm,
And I sang along, demanding for more, mourning for more, begging for more
I struggle, 
I struggle to get my face-; to not reflect,
To not reflect how my loins are aching for you,
I struggle
I struggle to get my heart-; to not feel,
To not feel tight and yet so exposed to you,


Like I clasped my thighs together when I came to the end yet I prayed that you would never stop....

The end....

Note; this piece is work of fiction or not; the reader's choice